Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
