A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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