the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
