so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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