I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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