So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
