wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so let's talk penis.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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