I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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