its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
