i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
