it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
