The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
