I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
