she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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