Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
