Whod you bang
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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