...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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