Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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