There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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