i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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