Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
