Say something about gay babies.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
