somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No subtext here. People are naked.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
