Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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