she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
