guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
