I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
