The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
