is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
