Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
