so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
