im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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