i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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