he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize