remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
