Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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