oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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