All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
