She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
