How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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