I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize