I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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