She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
