I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
