When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
