You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Blood and glitter go together right?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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