so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
