Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
