He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize