Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
