thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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