Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
