your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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