Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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