She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
