You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
