i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
