Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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