I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
