you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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