upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
