I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize