So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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