Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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