they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
