Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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