Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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