There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
