My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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