You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
