her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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