therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
