so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
