last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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