I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
