Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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