Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
