He uses pillows to masturbate.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
