I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
